There are numerous books on the market about being single and dating. “Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman: Dispelling 10 Common Myths” by Allison K. Flexer is without a doubt the best one on this topic I have ever read. I have told all of my single friends how good the book is and that they must read it! I would love to get a small group discussion together for the book.
“Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman: Dispelling 10 Common Myths” is awesome because it doesn’t give you a list of things to do to “catch a man” or tell you to dress a certain way, or act a certain way, or go to a certain place. (Ever read those horrible dating advice articles about meeting your significant other at a grocery store/hardware store/dog park, etc.)? This book doesn’t give a formula for how to date nor does it focus on dating advice. Instead, it brings to light common lies every single person, man or woman, has either thought to themselves or talked about with their friends. As I was reading, I was highlighting sentences like crazy because I wanted to remember everything Allison was saying! I also enjoyed that she included opinions from single men. It was interesting to see what they had to say.
Some of the chapters I felt like Allison wrote especially for me were Lie #1: Because no one has chosen me, I’m not valuable; Lie #2: God has forgotten about me; Lie # 5: I’m not beautiful; Lie # 7: There is something wrong with me; and Lie #8: The church values married people more than me. In each chapter, Allison pinpoints the lie. She shares stories from her personal experiences, and she interviews other singles whose stories she includes, as well. She applies scripture to show us the truth God gives us to combat the lies. Then she emphasizes different character traits of God, such our Provider, Hope, and Redeemer. In bulleted points at the end of each chapter, she once again brings the lie to light and shows us what women who believe this lie often say. Then, she tells us the truth of what God says and gives us a list of scripture we can take to heart to battle these lies.
My favorite chapter focused on Lie #7: There is something wrong with me. As I read, I realized that I have said or thought these sentiments. It was almost as if I had talked to Allison because she knew exactly how I was feeling. Some of my favorite quotes from this chapter included:
“In the midst of difficult circumstances, Ruth showed loyalty to Naomi, faith in God’s plan, and enormous courage. It is possible that God will also provide the same courage, determination, and faith for your specific journey? Is it feasible that there’s really nothing wrong with you, but instead, that God has placed you in this place for a purpose, one that only you can accomplish? Even if we don’t fully understand what God is doing, we need to trust his heart-trust that he truly loves us and doesn’t see us as less important. ” The truth in this chapter says “You have been made by God for a purpose. Your loving Father will equip you with everything you need along the way.” I also love the description in this chapter of God as our Abba, our Papa.
Although this book is written with singles in mind, I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone. Over and over again, “Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman: Dispelling 10 Common Myths” emphasizes that God loves us unconditionally, eternally, no matter what and desires a relationship with us. Nothing besides a personal relationship with God can fill the void we have in our lives. Whether married or single, everyone can relate to this truth.
I received a copy of this book through NetGalley for my honest, unbiased opinion.